


The Animeys

by PaigeOfSpace



Category: Homestuck, Kill la Kill
Genre: Gen, This Is STUPID
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-03
Updated: 2016-11-03
Packaged: 2018-08-28 21:55:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8464471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaigeOfSpace/pseuds/PaigeOfSpace
Summary: “If you ever fell from space, naked and screaming at terminal velocity, I’d catch you every time.” Rosalind looked up from her plot scribblings.“What in the absolute fuck are you talking about, David?”[Kill la Kill still exists in the alphaverse, as a protest piece against the Batterwitch. Rosalind Lalonde and David Strider are part of the creative team.]





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Heavensalt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heavensalt/gifts).



> please don't take this fic too seriously it was a dumb headcanon with a friend that spiraled way out of control. it's also her fault that i tagged this in the kill la kill fandom.
> 
> further disclaimer: i have no goddamn clue how anime production works

“If you ever fell from space, naked and screaming at terminal velocity, I’d catch you every time.” Rosalind looked up from her plot scribblings.

“What in the absolute fuck are you talking about, David?”

“This is where you say you’d catch me back.”

“No.” Rosalind dismissed him, returning her attention to her writings.

“C’mon Rose,” David whined. Rosalind said nothing. David threw a crumpled piece of paper at her. “What are you writing.”

“I’m coming up with, and I quote, ‘deep meaningful plot shit’ for your ridiculous anime, like you asked me to.”

“Yeah but like, _what_ are you writing.” David got out of his seat across the long table from her and rounded the end to stand beside her, reading (or at least attempting to) over her shoulder. “Your handwriting is fucking awful.”

“Only when I’m brainstorming,” Rosalind said. “I was thinking, what if the older sister character - Satsuki, right?”

“Yeah,”

“What if Satsuki’s heel-face-turn during the festival was made to represent Jade turning on her grandmother? It would really be rubbing salt in the Batterwitch’s wounds.”

“Shit, yeah that would be good,”

“What was it that she said that time you asked her if she ever missed her grandmother?”

“‘No way! She’s crazy and she needs to go down!’” David chuckled, imitating Jade’s voice.

“Have your friend translate that into Japanese and put it in the script.” Rosalind said.

“Will do. By the way, are there gonna be any actual _sports_ at the Cultural and Sports Grand Festival?”

“I don’t believe so. My, how quickly we forget the sports,” Rosalind smiled.

“To be fair, with all the crazy shit that goes down I’d forget the sports too,” David returned to his seat on the other side of the table and opened his computer. “Oh, hey, Sushio asked me if I had any ideas for Ragyo’s design and I thought if you remembered anything about your mother…” Rosalind shot him a glare.

“Hey, my mother may have been a piece of work but she was nowhere _near_ as horrible as Ragyo,”

“No I know but if we make her look like Condie it’ll be too obvious and we’ll all be killed, plus if anyone’s a good model for a crazy disco MILF it’s your mom.” David said, leaning back in his chair.

“Do I even have to tell you how Oedipal that statement was?”

“I gave up on keeping the disaster that is my stream of consciousness in check _ages_ ago. This shit’s like a cargo train carrying fucktons of Freudian slips went off the tracks, and also the train is shaped like a dick.”

“Where was this phallic train taking its precious cargo, and why?” Rosalind asked with amusement.

“I dunno, somewhere with a severe lack of embarrassing boners, both figuratively and literally. The people there don’t make idiots of themselves every five seconds. I feel goddamn sorry for them.”

“Those poor souls.” She laughed. “In response to your question, yes, I’d be willing to share with you what I remember of my mother’s appearance, though it isn’t much.”

“Sweet,” David said, preparing to type out notes. “Shoot.” Rosalind closed her eyes for a moment, silently thinking, then spoke.

“One thing I remember for sure is that her hair was very straight, but flipped outwards at the ends. I never knew if that was natural, or if she worked hard to maintain it. I don’t believe I ever saw her wearing curlers, but I’m relatively sure hair doesn’t work that way.”

“Huh.”

“The only other things I can recall are that she wore a lot of white, and always had heels on. I’d always get nervous when I heard that clicking noise coming up the stairs. Oh, and she pretty much always had a martini glass in her hand, though that probably wouldn’t make sense for Ragyo, I’d imagine.”

“Yeah. Thanks though,” David said, “This’ll be really useful. Also, I thought rainbows could be a part of her motif, to signify the alien homospectrum or whatever.”

“ _Hemospectrum_ ,” Rosalind corrected him.

“Yeah, that.”

The two sat in silence for a while, Rosalind scribbling and David typing intermittently. Then suddenly he burst out into laughter.

“What’s so funny?”

“I’m gonna make her dress like a clown. It’ll be symbolic _and_ funny as hell.” David said, still laughing. “Oh man, this is brilliant,” Rosalind smiled.

“Truly, you are a visionary genius, David.”

“Don’t I know it.”

**Author's Note:**

> btw david is friends with sushio and the other trigger creators because he contacted them after watching ttgl asking if he could work with them and they were like "ye" because he's famous for making sbahj and they ended up being good buds and waging creative war on the condesce together
> 
> UPD8 07/26/2018: Dave also helped with the OST, including the song "Inu K a 3L" aka Ping Pong Circulate. (It's a remix of a square dance song and he's from fuckin Texas. it all comes full circle)


End file.
